


Connected By Pain

by Kouda_Writes_Stuff



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Before The Tragedy, Child Abuse, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fist Fights, Hopeful Ending, Injury Recovery, M/M, Physical Abuse, Recovery, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 08:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12503536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kouda_Writes_Stuff/pseuds/Kouda_Writes_Stuff
Summary: Kazuichi has never liked being at home, and school faced him with classmates that are willing to help. But how long will it go on? How long will Kazuichi hold in the past?





	Connected By Pain

They always say leaving is the hard part. For me, it was rather the opposite... Getting out was the easy part of my day, but my fear choked me when walking home every day. I have to admit, being a skittish teen with a low self-esteem, sucks. And walking onto the powerhouse of modern education's campus was a mix of terror and hope. I guess there won't be pain? Maybe?

Oh who am I kidding? I'm fucked. Not in the good way. I have been on campus for a maximum of nine seconds and already have all the judging eyes on me. It makes me wish I were not here. But for once, I hoped it would be a good day. I plaster the smile on my face and brace for the inevitable self hating that I will be feeling by lunch.

I get to my class without issues. Sit down, no problem. But something settles in the back of my mind. An unshakable sense of confusion. How did someone useless as me, end up in a place like this. It had to have been something that was manipulating my life, just not the part that matters...

A small girl with pigtails entered the classroom, grinning deviously. A strange redhead and a dyed hair rocker chick. They seemed nice until the devious darling chuckled. The redhead asked why she was laughing. Her response was, "Just wait." I suddenly felt nervous.

Then, as if on cue, my chair collapsed from underneath me. I couldn't speak as it happened, but right after, I just looked at the floor in shame, after rising to my feet of course. The teacher entered and took one glance at me. I believe her name was Yuki-something. "Mahiru, what happened here?"

She was looking at Red Sea. Who simply responded, "Hiyoko wanted to play a prank, and she found the roll sheet, so she picked a victim from it. Claiming, anyone with a last name vaguely related to soft drinks deserves it."

"Mahiru, you're not supposed to tell her!" The small one, Hiyoko, said in a whiney little girl's voice.

"Ibuki thinks you did a bad job of hiding the fact you did it, Hiyoko." The colored haired nutcase says, she must be the type to speak in the third person on occasion. The teacher looked at me.

"You alright?" She asked. In my head the words, 'No, my life sucks, and Hiyoko is a bitch.' were said. But aloud only a half-assed, "I'm fine." and a seriously forced smile were made.

"Alright, class will start shortly...so...hm. How to fix the desk. I know, Hiyoko. You broke it, you fix it." The teacher spoke swiftly.

"WHAT?!" Hiyoko seems to not understand crime and punishment. But I decide to attempt to stand up for her.

"No Ms, I'll take care of it, it was just a harmless prank." I say, but Hiyoko seems intent on pissing everyone off.

"Shut up, loser. I don't need you to stick up for me. I'll fix the desk." She reluctantly pulled out a small tool kit. I sat in the back, rather than the seat up front. I decided to gaze out the window. Hoping to forget my own self loathing. When a person shatters that reality. A guy, probably my age, takes a seat next to me.

He wears dark clothes, a red-violet scarf, and has ash like hair. His eyes do not match each other's colors... Heterochromia. His face seems to be a perpetual scowl. But what stood out the most, were the bandages. Up one of his arms, they were wrapped tightly. I wanted to ask, but chose not to.

The teacher waited for everyone to take their seats. Then began a lecture about the classroom rules, my brain wandered. But something set me off again. The slam of a kids book on his desk. He looked like a jerk. But he didn't cause the surge of fear and stress. It was the slam. My mind started racing.

Out of the blue, the kid who sat next to me grabbed my shoulder and whispered, "Are you alright?". His voice deep and soothing. In that, eerie narrator who is really a good guy way. I nodded, probably a little to frantically. Why do I think that? Cause his face read uncertainty, but he didn't press the issue. Good.

The papers that the teacher were passing out for us to work on finally reached me. I was able to answer most of the questions, after all they were about us. But...I couldn't answer some of them in particular. 'What is your mom like?', she's been dead for years. 'What's your dad like?', where's the option not to respond?

'Are you a happy person when nobody's around?', I stared at that question. Honesty or not? I couldn't think about it. I felt like my brain was beating me up for being so god damn useless. So I wrote, 'I can't say I'm happy, calm, or angry. More a mix of depressed and fear.'. I stared at it. My brain hurt.

I wrote 'No comment' about my mom and dad. The last question I couldn't figure out how to answer was, 'Is your crush a boy or girl?'. I didn't have a crush at the moment...

I kept my eyes on the paper. My face must've looked unhappy, because the guy in front of me took one look at me and asked, "Hey, you look intense. What's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm just not happy to be in school." I said calmly. Well, as calm as I can physically muster.

"You know, I'm not going to be a jerk about it. You can tell me if you feel like it. I'll just keep out of it. Okay?" He wore an anxious smile. His hair was a wreck of pale blond. His eyes...looked grey, but also green.

"Okay, thanks." I replied. I finished the sheet and handed it in. Class continues. And a break happens, we all got up and got ready to go to the bathrooms, or hang out with other students from other classes. The teacher stopped me. Shit, probably shouldn't have wrote what I wrote.

"Is everything alright at home?" She asked. I shouldn't have lied to her. But I did.

"Yeah. Why?" I asked, knowing full well what she's going to say.

"You wrote 'No Comment' about your parents and 'I can't say I'm happy, calm, or angry. More a mix of depressed and angry'. I worry about my students quite a lot, and I've never had a student say this on this sheet." She said. The exact quotes I knew she would pull.

"Listen, my family is complicated and so are my feelings. I can't explain them well..." I groaned and scratched my head, she doesn't know this yet, but when I lie I tend to do that. My dad would be pissed if he knew I lied to a teacher, about him no less. He'd think I exaggerated the problems, not that I understated them to the highest degree.

"Just remember, Souda. If you need to talk to someone, I would be happy to help." She didn't miss a beat, her frown formed back into a gentle smile.

"Kay. Maybe I will sometime." I said, lied again. I wouldn't dare to piss anyone off. I walked out, and went to the bathroom with no one near it. I shoved the door open, and went to a sink. My breathing, as far as I recall, was heavy. Pained. I turned on the faucet and splashed myself with some water. I guess at the time it was my coping mechanism?

Then...he entered. Gundham, the name that I'd still say today. He went right to a urinal, and ignored me at first. I eased up a bit. It wasn't someone who judged me too harshly or pranked me. He seemed to be worried about me. He then came to the sink, the sound of the urinal's flush went through the room. He did a polite wave to me, and washed his hands.

"You seemed traumatized by something demonic in class today, Souda." He said randomly. I was caught off guard.

"You... Noticed that, huh?" I grumbled, following it with a heavy sigh.

"What caused the terror you had in your innocent eyes, mortal?" I shivered, why does he act so weird?

"A...book slammed." I stammered, anxiously.

"You were set off by a mere book of Yakuza Tradition?" He asked, his face concerned. I wondered why he was being so kind. I didn't realize it until later.

"Listen, it's no big deal. I'm okay. Honestly." I said, hoped he'd drop the subject.

"Hm. You were just hyperventilating when I entered, and you seemed distressed." He said, damn. He's more perceptive than he looks. "If that is okay, then clearly I am not."

"I mean I'm fine now. I'll be okay today. Okay?" The bell rang as he opened his mouth to respond. He sighed, and left. I heaved out a breath of relief.

Once we were all back in class the teacher decided to do something that made me want to dive out the windows. We were expected to read our question answers, aloud to the class. Thank god I was the last one. Everyone else had a chance to sound sad or weird. But nothing compared to mine. I got up and began to read the paper.

"Name is Kazuichi Souda, and my talent is Ultimate Mechanic. I have nothing to say about my parents, and well...um...Miss do I really have to read the next one?" I asked, and she nodded. Fuck.

"I wouldn't say I'm happy, calm, or angry by myself. More or less sad and afraid." I say, Hiyoko giggled.

"I don't have a crush at the moment, and I had friends before I came here. A few, but not many." My voice gave out after that, I couldn't finish reading. My words wouldn't leave.

Gundham was leaned forward, I still can't say I know why he was so attentive. Several other students seemed worried. Nekomaru, Nagito, Sonia, Akane...they all looked at me like I was a starving child. The teacher waited. But when the silence grew uncomfortable. She excused me to the hall. I quickly walked out.

The hallways were completely empty. Posters dangled from the Cork boards. The floor was as the school had designed it. Shimmering stone. I leaned my back up against the wall. In minutes, I had slid down the wall, and begun to silently suffer. Why was I so pathetic? Why couldn't I say anything? Why did that little bitch, Hiyoko, laugh? My head slightly cleared at the sight of someone exiting the room next door. Another failure at presenting.

Touko, was that her name? She had long braids, cute little glasses. She seemed like a pretty lady, a sweet little mistress, possibly from a small town. But I heard she was very bitter. Hard to believe considering she writes romance. Maybe it's better I don't know. She stood for a few minutes, then her demeanor shifted. She pulled scissors from her skirt pocket, and stabbed them into a corkboard. Growling.

I quickly averted my eyes. And just as quickly, she pulled the scissors out of the board and returned to her normal self. She went back to class. Suddenly, I wasn't alone again. Chiaki entered the hallway, and asked, "Would you like to come back to class?"

"Why should I? I'm a mess..." I replied, feeling less than okay.

"The teacher wants us to go and do some athletics. Even walking around the track counts." She explained. I rose to my feet as everyone poured out of the classroom, but before I started walking a person held onto my jumpsuit collar. I turned. It was Mikan, behind her was Gundham.

"I-if you're not feeling w-well, y-you can stick c-close to me and Gundham. We don't r-really do the whole s-sports thing." I nodded, agreed to her offer. And stuck close to them. I had to hold back from blurting out my complaints.

We all walked behind everyone else. Even Chiaki, the slowest moving one of them, was ahead of us. I felt a bit relaxed now, but that didn't last too long. As Gundham asked, "Are you okay? You refused to tell me during break time. And you walked out really quickly."

"Y-yeah, I'm sorry that you might be feeling down." Mikan said shakily.

"I-i...I'm okay-" Gundham didn't give me a moment to finish.

"No you are not. I am not a fool, I can tell you are suffering from some serious stress and fear. And I know you have an awful home life. I live in the apartment complex on the same road. Mikan lives in Kobiko Housing Units just a little ways further. We have seen you leave you house bleeding and crying."

"I...I can't talk about this. Not here." I said, and I turned my face to the floor.

"Show me." Gundham snarled.

"What?!" I yelped.

"I said show me the injuries. If you can not speak, then show."

I whimpered, and nodded. Mikan looked nervous, as I unzipped the jumpsuit. I looked around to make sure no one else could see. And pulled my arms out of the sleeves. They were bruised and scarred. But that wasn't the half of it. I turned around, and showed my back, lifting my T-shirt to display more scars and bruises.

Mikan gasped, and Gundham was speechless. I got my jumpsuit back on properly. "There. Now you know about how fucked up I am. What else?"

"I-i am truly sorry for tearing open your wounds Kazuichi. I can not forgive myself." Gundham, his whole expression different, looked like his eyes were watering. Was he going to cry because of me?

"Look, you guys shouldn't worry about me. It's not important." I mumbled.

"O-of course it's i-important. It's a-abuse. Violence. H-ow can you be so p-placcid about it?" Mikan said in exasperation.

"Because. It's just my fucked up life. It means noth-" I started before my mouth was covered by Gundham.

"You are wrong. Because you mean something to other people." His face was partially covered, but the exposed parts were turning pink. Was he blushing? "I don't want to see a nice, generous, and gentle man be tormented and hide his pain. If you must. Wipe off the mask for us."

So I did.

In that immediate moment, my eyes spilled their contents. Tears flowed without discretion. Mikan quickly gave me a consoling hug, but Gundham kept his scarf over his face. When the pink had vanished, he moved the scarf away.

"You know, Kazuichi, me and Mikan understand your strife. But the few times we have seen you in public, you were cheerful. Was it all just a mask for an immoral hellhole sucking the hope and life from your kind heart?"

"Y-yes." I cried, feeling weak again. "It was all f-fake. I wanted to be happy again, but when nobody cared...I... I gave up."

"B-but this is way d-different. We've never s-seen you cry l-like this. Not when you were at s-school, only when you l-left your h-home. Usually in a f-fray." Mikan said, gently running her hand through my hair, in a way that screamed, 'You'll be okay'.

Gundham sighed. "I guess my suspicion was true. That you are living with a corrupted being who harms you to have power over you. I am sorry to ask, but why do you stay? You have every option to leave, and yet you remain in a hell on earth."

"B-because...I have nowhere else to go!" I covered my eyes. Mainly because the tears were starting to cause my contacts to slip.

"Listen to me here, Kazuichi. I want you to know that me and Mikan have experience with what you have gone through. But we need to find a time to meet up and speak. School is an inconvenient place to talk about abuse. Dry those tears. We need to get to the track." He said, Mikan stopped hugging.

I wiped my eyes and took out my contacts. Putting them back in the correct way. Then said, with a painfully forced grin and thumbs up, "Let's go!"

\---

Out on the track a few students were wandering about. Mahiru was trying to coerce Hiyoko to pose for a picture. Akane raced Nekomaru and Peko. Kuzuryuu and Teruteru were placing bets. Ibuki looked like she was lost in thought. Hinata spoke with Chiaki. Then there was us. Off by our lonesome.

But the obvious reason is that none of us had social lives anyway. We were like Nagito, who spent a while wandering around aimlessly. Unlike Nagito though, we spoke with each other. We settled for a normal, tame topic. We'd get to the drama about our family lives later. For now, we discussed our dreams for our future.

Gundham seemed dead set on being a zoologist with a few pets. But at the rate he was going, his social life could use improvement. He said that he decided to take a stand against cruelty in our school by starting the Vegetarian Union. He, Mikan, and for some reason Sakura Oogami were the main members.

"I couldn't be a vegetarian. My dad makes our dietary decisions. I suppose it explains why he's overweight. Maybe someday I'll make the switch." I said, and Gundham looked like he wanted to help, but couldn't.

Mikan spoke about how she wanted to devote her life to taking care of people, by opening her own clinic. Tsumiki Regional Clinic was the name she chose. When I asked what her specialist field was, she said all nursing. Pediatric, Senior Health, Chronic Condition Aide, and even Surgical Assistance. But over all of that, she wanted to be useful.

"I'd let you treat injuries. You seem trustworthy, smart, and compassionate. After all, you are a sweet girl." I said, Gundham's blushing returned. He hid it instantly.

"Oh, t-thank you, Kazuichi. That's s-so nice of you to s-say. Gundham are y-you having an allergy? You're turning red." She looked at his blushing cheeks, more specifically what wasn't covered by his scarf.

"No, Mikan. I am not having an allergic reaction, just give me a moment." He seemed anxious. I wondered if he had a crush on Mikan. Not the weirdest couple imaginable. Probably a cute duo. Too bad I'm never going to have that kind of person.

The teacher called us back to class, and we got settled in. We did some more activities, and lunch passed quickly. My heart started to pound as the last hour began. I was afraid of going home. Back to my dad's violence. Me and the other two planned to meet up after school. But I worried that my dad would hurt me if I was late. Still, I wanted to be around Mikan and Gundham. They had quickly earned my trust.

After the bell rang, I went with Mikan and Gundham to Mikan's empty home. It was pure silence. The small apartment was uninhabited.

"Do you live alone, Mikan?" I asked, hoping that it was true so I wouldn't feel afraid of eavesdropping.

"Y-yes. My mom a-and dad are out of town. A b-big business trip to the U-united States. It'll last a long time. But I can wait." She said softly. In a flash she set up drinks and snacks for us to talk about the real issues.

"So, how do we decide who speaks first?" Gundham asked.

"I guess I-I can." Mikan volunteered? I expected her to be afraid of saying things about herself.

"Y-you see, when I was younger, m-my real mom and dad were al-always hurting me. Mocking me. Disturbing me. I-I grew to know how to t-treat my wounds. Speaking of...K-Kazuichi, do you have any recent wounds that you need checked?"

I thought about it. My back was really beat up because I pissed my dad off yesterday. I nodded and said, "My back got mangled yesterday."

"Your dad's work, correct?" Gundham asked, looking worried. I didn't answer. Hell, I didn't indicate anything.

"Well, you see Kazuichi, my family has been broken. For a long time now my dad has been away. Maybe he was the sour demon who brought my life only to leave me with my mother, an angel with distress as a middle name... And.... The worst of it is, I think she's made me anorexic. She hates it when I skip her meals, for they caused my veins to be a poisonous tube system. Now...I can not look in a mirror. At least not without my jacket and shirt. For I see a fat, useless, loser." Gundham talked, and towards the end, his façade of power shattered.

I reached out, and gently caressed his shoulder. I believed it to be comforting. He let a few tears slide down his face, before covering it to hide the rest of his sorrow. When he lifted his head, he was smiling. I didn't know why. Until he blushed, looking into my eyes. Mikan had left to gather the things needed to treat cuts and bruises, regardless, I was certain. Gundham had some kind of feeling for me. One I hadn't experienced in a long time. Attraction.

And you know what it was cute, seeing him blush like that. I'd known I was gay for a year now. My dad doesn't know, otherwise rape would be a new weapon. Mikan came back into the room and requested the removal of my shirt. The jumpsuit remained, the lower half worn and the upper part sprawled over the small ottoman. Gundham blushed even harder at my bare chest and abdomen.

I decided to help him get over it by telling them my life. "Well, you guys guessed the abuse part, it all started when my mom died. My dad started drinking, often. He'd get violent, but not wasted. Perhaps deep down he knew if he got wasted he'd kill me...maybe he should've-"

"No. No Kazuichi. You do not deserve to die. You are not to blame for your mother's passing." Gundham interrupted. His voice firm, yet kind. I can tell he's struggling to understand what, "We Mortals" call attraction.

"Anyway, he's been like that for years...and well...I can't just leave. As much as I hate it when he gets violent. He still has a soft side. It's the only thing about him I trust. When he gets up before his workday, and asks what happened the day before. I lie. I don't tell him he hurt me. Because it would make him hate himself. And whenever he starts to hate himself he drinks, then gets violent."

Gundham looked like he wanted to jump up and tell me my life will get better, that he would do whatever it takes to keep me safe. But he didn't want to make Mikan screw up.

Once Mikan finished patching me up, she said. "Well, n-now what?"

"We need to help our distressed and oppressed friend. Kazuichi. Lead us to your residence. Please."

So we went to my home.

There we stood, and I was nervous. I had no reason to be. If anything went south Mikan would likely stand between me and my dad, he never has hit a girl. Not a single girl he's brought home has left injured. But I have, and that's what I fear showing my friends. Nobody should have to show their dark fears.

But my dad was already opening the door. I could tell he was drunk, I had become very good at telling this. My friends new me as a bit loud and usually smiling. Now they're watching me cower at the site of my parent. I suppose it was to be expected.

But what I didn't expect was my dad to stomp up to me, and grip me by my shirt collar. I let out a soft whimper of panic. Gundham and Mikan stood to the sides, waiting to see what the brute of a man would do to me. They were waiting to see if their attack would be considered defending someone or provocation. They had a plan. I stared at my dad.

"P-please put me...down..." I beg quietly. He decided against it. Dragging me towards the door. I tried to resist. Mikan decided to give her hand at pleading.

"P-please sir, let g-go of our friend. Do-don't hurt him!" She begged, her tears pouring like always. He barely glanced at her, but instead of waiting to take me out of sight to harm me, it took on swift motion for me to be slammed against the door. My dad's fingers clenching around my throat. I started to tear up, my airway unable to bring air. Then, I didn't see it coming.

My dad's head jolted and a thud occurred. When he and I could see who had thrown, I think it was a brick. I was shocked. Gundham held a second one. Mikan had her cell phone out, and was dialing for emergency services. I could breathe, but not for long my dad squeezed my throat.

"Throw another one, and Kazuichi pays the price." I whimpered in pain. I tried to keep still, if I do that he won't tighten his grip.

"Let him go!" I looked to where the voice came from. And realized...they were my classmates. I forgot the poor area is between the urban area and the pleasant little neighborhoods. The one who yelled was Nekomaru, Akane looked pissed.

Come to think of it. This was the most pissed off group of teens I have seen. My vision started to fade. Then I heard footsteps, punching. And I regained the ability to breathe. Tears and depravity from oxygen were fogging my vision. I heard more footsteps and a ruckus I couldn't explain.

Then my eyesight regained clarity. I was looking up at Gundham and Mikan. She spoke first.

"The a-ambulance and p-police are on their w-way, Kazuichi. Everyone is w-worried about you right n-now. You're dad's b-been knocked o-out by Akane and N-nekomaru."

I just grumbled a response and passed out.

When I awoke again. I was on a hospital bed, above me were several classmates. Did they come to see me recover, or to see me die? I didn't know, now I do. They were finally willing to see me for who I was, a victim. Hiyoko looked sorry. Ibuki wore distress, as did Mikan and Akane. Nekomaru had worry in his eyes, but not on his face. But it was Gundham who really seemed antsy.

The first to speak was Gundham, "Kazuichi! Are you okay? Can you breathe alright? Are you able to speak?"

"Calm d-down, Gundham. You're c-confusing him, and putting to much p-pressure." Mikan tried to ease Gundham's fear. All I could muster was...

"I...feel like...I should be dead." Hiyoko suddenly exploded.

"NO! I'm not going to sit, and watch you say your death should've happened. No one should be getting strangled on their own porch, by their dad no less!" She screamed, then began crying hysterically.

"I'm sorry...Hiyoko. I just....I have always expected....that I'd die surrounded by people. Thanks to my sick bastard of a father." I sigh, "What made you guys visit?"

"I wanted to make sure my efforts weren't in vain!" Nekomaru growled.

"Ibuki was worried like Hiyoko and Mikan." Ibuki chirped. Still the optimistic one.

"I wanted to apologize for being a bitch to you. I shouldn't make fun of people when I don't know what's going on with them!" Hiyoko cried.

"I have to say, I feared you weren't gonna make it, and that I'd have to be here to make sure that if you didn't make it, at least I'd say goodbye." Akane said, looking serious for once.

"I came because I can't watch a patient go away, I need to care for them." Mikan said,for once not a single stutter. She was proud she saved me.

"I came here to say that I threw that brick. That I wanted to help, but...I am a meek coward. I could not throw another brick, because he threatened your life. And I.... Nevermind. That's all you need to know, from me at least." Gundham sounded like he had more to say, but he didn't have his typical over-the-top grandeur.

"Thanks guys. I appreciate having someone here..." I said, but y tears started flowing at the same time. Gundham's hand clutched mine, I know he's trying to comfort me. But I can't help but think, he's here because his crush forms is being cemented. And after all, I can't say I don't feel the same way about him.

"If you're happy, why are you crying?" Akane asked, her skeptical pose of a hand on the hip and in the air showed.

"Because. My head and neck hurt like a motherfucker...." I whimper. "And...I nearly died...again..."

"Again?!" Gundham snarled in rage that startled everyone.

"I...I tried to kill myself three years ago..." I say bluntly. Gundham looked hurt by the fact that he didn't know what to say.

"How and why?" Nekomaru asked. He looked severely shocked by what I said.

"Slashing my wrists, I was being abused and bullied simultaneously...I guess you could say I failed. Cause I... Bandaged myself up. I didn't let myself bleed out. I just... Stopped. Continued living."

"Wow...I can't believe it. Someone as upbeat as you, with blood drooling down your hands. But then again. We were all exposed to something today. Your home life..." Nekomaru responded, "Personally..I know how you feel. I am only expected to live into my twenties due to a heart problem. Every day is a struggle to move to the most probable end."

"My entire family is surrounded by death. People have been so jealous of us that assassination is common. People have tried to conduct deadly pranks against me." Hiyoko wailed.

"You are already aware of me and Mikan's history." Gundham said.

"I guess it's not as bad as you, but I'm always tired. I force a cheerful attitude to be strong for my family. Weren't rich, ya know? I have to work a job on top of school just to make ends meet." Akane explained.

"Let's see. I nearly died when I knocked some coconuts off the tree and they hit my head." Ibuki smiled. She was the only one smiling.

In a way...they're stories made me glad that my struggle had finally ended.

I nodded quietly. The room fell into a silence. Save for Hiyoko sniffling.

"Excuse me, but we must ask that all visitors leave now. He'll be back in school in a few days, once we can assure there isn't permanent damage. He just needs rest." A nurse said.

"Meet me when you leave the hospital, Kazuichi. The rooftop of the school. Far left corner. Please." Gundham begged.

I agreed.

I got to school a few days later ,and felt miserable. My sleep was jacked up by the traumatizing image of my dad's hateful face, as his hands slowly crushed my neck, and with it...my airway. I guess you could say, I was already feeling awful. I got to class. And put my head in my arms. Looking at the desk's intricacies that decorated the wooden slab.

I shot up when a hand held my shoulder. I grabbed the arm in fear, my paranoia hadn't subsided yet. It was just Peko. She looked confused, then blank. "I was going to ask if you needed a home. I know many safe havens for people like you."

"N-no...sorry Peko...for umm...grabbing you like that." I mumbled. Feeling ashamed.

"Not a problem. We all know you are on edge." She said, before going to her desk.

Gundham entered, and immediately spoke to me. "You're back."

Did he just use a contraction? He...doesn't normally do that. "Yeah, I am. Guess I could've been feeling a little better."

"What has you down still?" He asked, he sounded like a loving parent. One I would never have.

"Well, hospital beds are not exactly cozy to me. And the nightmares... I'm just glad it's almost in the past." I said, forcing a small smirk. He responded with a blank look. Clearly, he can see through my forced smiles. I didn't feel like coming back to school in a state of Melancholy.

"Class, today our lovely classmate, Kazuichi returns. Let's let him be independent for the moment, no need to jump to ask a dozen questions. Just let him have some recovery time. Okay, class?"

They all said yes. It made me feel better, knowing that I won't be bombarded. Today felt odd. My old Jumpsuit was replaced with old jeans and a pink T-shirt. I had gotten it to match my dyed hair. I liked it. But now, I felt less like myself. Who cares?

Gundham kept looking at me. And every time I caught him his face tinted pink and he hid his face. He was clearly holding back a confession I was anticipating. The closer it got to the end of the day, the more nervous he looked. I had to admit. He was being fucking cute.

We got to the rooftop, the bell had rung. People were leaving. I stood there while the silence enveloped us. He stared for a moment. Hiding his face, but after a moment he let me see his face, he was a handsome man. Even with his cheeks tinted the color of roses. He finally said,

"You must know what I want to say. I'm no good at the subtle interest. Just please don't hate me for asking, can we...date? I've always felt like I was drawn to you, and now more than ever. Because we've been there for each other. Right?"

"Well...what have I done for you?" I asked anxiously.

"You're the one who kept me from continuing something vile." He said, his voice achingly depressing in tone.

"What is this something vile?" I asked, feeling worry creep up on me.

He rolled up his sleeve, and showed the bandages. Tears appeared in his eyes..."I know you're probably going to ask, so here's the truth. I hate myself, I act all mighty...but...I'm nothing. I'm not the spawn of a demon. I am no overlord. I'm just...hopeless..."

He unravelled the bandages. The slits showed themselves, dark and horrific. One of them was not yet a scar, but on the road to becoming one. I instinctively teared up, and resisted the urge to gasp.

"You hurt yourself?! Why?!" I ask, sounding horrified.

"B-because... I'm just a fat, lonely, worthless ball of trash. I made myself seem like a powerful and intimidating person...but...that's not me. But you should notice. I cut myself at least once a week. Usually Monday. And this week...so far... I haven't felt the need to cut. We started talking this week, and my feelings got much stronger. My affection for you...grew and destroyed my hatred of myself. Because yo never stopped to judge me. You didn't hate my looks." He said, now crying as his words grew choked and fragile.

"I never knew that.... Gundham. You always seemed to be so strong. Like nothing can faze you. But...I promise. You are not a fat, lonely, worthless ball of trash. You're someone I'd die for. I hope you know this. Because without you, I'd be dead, alone, or in agony. So...I guess. In a way, I genuinely trust you."

"No has ever said that to me. Why?! I am not worth your trust. I'm a fool who acts high and mighty, and even you should understand that nobody should act as such. So why do you care if I cut myself?"

"I can't hate you, you helped save me from my personal hell of a home. And listen. You aren't the only one. I cut myself a lot too. Why do you think my arms had scars on them. It comes with the territory, of having a self-esteem so low it might as well be considered absolute zero. But we need to move past this. I don't want to see you hurt." I said, but I wasn't done talking.

"I had a crush on you too. I've seen you in our neighborhood... And well... If I had known how you felt. Maybe we could've fixed this sooner... But in the end, I didn't fall for you for no reason. I didn't focus on how you looked. I fell for you, because of our first interaction. Remember?" I talked, sincerity entering my words.

"Yes. We were in the little convenience store near the railyards. You bumped into me, and we spent a solid 20 minutes talking after that. Because we hit it off. Why did that make you fall for me?" He replied, sounding like he was remembering days long gone.

"Because. You didn't say 'back off' or 'watch it'. You actually tried to be kind. You spoke to me. You brought me happiness, because that morning I had gotten yelled at for dismantling my alarm clock. I remembered you let me pet your Devas while we spoke. They were much younger back then. But you cheered me up. Even if it was temporary. And I can tell, I did the same for you."

"You did? You did. I hadn't been the type to make any friends until we met. When I saw the bruise on your neck, I felt sympathy. Where I was left with the overprotective mom, you had the abusive dad. You made me realize that not all people are likely to hurt me. It was the same day...I fell for your pull. You and I began our crush from one chance encounter. Two freshmen talking like they were friends, despite not knowing one and other." He said, seemingly stunned that I remembered.

"So let me do this for you, let me be the man you want me to be. The one who can bring back your hope. The one who can make you feel like you have value. Please. Don't run from me."

"I couldn't be selfish around someone as kind and caring as you, Kazuichi. I want you to be my consort. As the others would say, boyfriend." He said, his tears mixing with his blushing cheeks. I decided to make a daring call. I leaned forward, and made his problems melt, by making contact.

I kissed him.

\---

I felt his lips press mine, I didn't expect Kazuichi to make this move so quickly. He seemed like he was ready for me to be his. I knew I was ready for him, but now I had the answers to what I truly wanted to know. He cared about me too. I suddenly noticed, his hands were around my waist. How could he have done that unless, I'm seeing the world through a broken system.

He pulled away, the satisfaction I now had felt like being handed a sweet little kitten. His sharp teeth gleamed as he grinned. For once, I could forget my pain. My desire to collapse and cry. He was here to aid my struggle towards remission. He still had his arms around me. I guess I could get used to him being more perceptive of my feelings.

He grabbed my bandages from my pocket, but before he could wrap my wounds. I stopped him.

"No." I said, "I will no longer hide them. They are reminders of what I will never continue. Now that I have a solid reason to never pick up my blade again. So leave the bandages, they do not matter."

"Hm. You know what?" Kazuichi rolled up his sleeves, scars from the many slits he's made and were cased by his father lined the arms. He smiled again, "You and I don't need to hide. Not anymore. We're both going to get better. In fact, I think we're already getting better."

We spent hours, until the school told us to leave talking. Loving words, intertwined with general conversation.

This was no mistake.

We were one.

Together.


End file.
